This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Friday, May 24 2013

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Two And A Half Men One False Move, Zimbabwe! When Walden's mother comes to visit for Christmas, Walden discovers a shocking secret about his imaginary childhood friend. Mimi Rogers guest-stars. 
08:30Two And A Half Men Slowly And In A Circular Fashion Walden and Bridget go head-to-head over the direction of 'Walden Loves Bridget Inc.' but Walden has a trick up his sleeve. What part will Alan play in all this? 
09:00Two And A Half Men A Possum on Chemo Zoe has a favour to ask of Walden - lose the "hipster Jesus" look. But he has trouble letting go of the locks. Alan bumps into an old flame but is given some misleading information. 
09:30Friends The One With The Boobies Chandler accidentally sees Rachel wandering around topless after her shower, so Rachel tries to even the score... 
10:00Friends The One With The Candy Hearts Ross and his Valentine's Day date end up at the same restaurant as Susan and Carol. Inevitably, things don't go quite to plan. 
10:30Friends The One With The Stoned Guy Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur looking for a new chef. However, there's one problem... he's a little "baked" himself. 
11:00Two And A Half Men Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie is sick of Alan's mooching and reaches his breaking point during the brothers' double date, whilst Jake makes the most of being home alone. Charlie Sheen stars. 
11:30Two And A Half Men Kissing Abraham Lincoln Lydia's rude attitude towards Berta has them at odds and Charlie facing a dilemma: he must choose one of them. Kandi uses her 'assets' to stop Alan from selling their condo. 
12:00New Whitney The Ex Box Brand new and exclusive. Whitney finds a box of stuff from Alex's ex in the basement and decides she needs to know more. Meanwhile, Lily tries to be the perfect roommate for Roxanne. 
12:30Friends The One With The Boobies Chandler accidentally sees Rachel wandering around topless after her shower, so Rachel tries to even the score... 
13:00Friends The One With The Candy Hearts Ross and his Valentine's Day date end up at the same restaurant as Susan and Carol. Inevitably, things don't go quite to plan. 
13:30Friends The One With The Stoned Guy Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur looking for a new chef. However, there's one problem... he's a little "baked" himself. 
14:00Two And A Half Men Golly Moses, She's A Muffin Kandi moves in with Alan and Charlie, causing tension in the house. Charlie's not happy about the arrangement, as he is having a "dry spell" with women. 
14:30Two And A Half Men Always A Bridesmaid Never A Burro Alan is depressed as Kandi has left him to stay with Judith. Charlie starts sleeping with Kandi's mother, Mandi, and it's not long before daddy is on the scene too! 
15:00New Whitney The Ex Box Brand new and exclusive. Whitney finds a box of stuff from Alex's ex in the basement and decides she needs to know more. Meanwhile, Lily tries to be the perfect roommate for Roxanne. 
15:30Two And A Half Men Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie is sick of Alan's mooching and reaches his breaking point during the brothers' double date, whilst Jake makes the most of being home alone. Charlie Sheen stars. 
16:00Two And A Half Men Kissing Abraham Lincoln Lydia's rude attitude towards Berta has them at odds and Charlie facing a dilemma: he must choose one of them. Kandi uses her 'assets' to stop Alan from selling their condo. 
16:30Friends The One With Rachel's Other Sister Rachel's spoiled, irresponsible sister, Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up for Thanksgiving and causes arguments amongst the gang. 
17:00Friends The One With Rachel's Phone Number Rachel and Phoebe go out for a night together. After Rachel gives a guy her phone number, she worries that he'll call when Ross is at the apartment. 
17:30Friends The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. 
18:00New Two And A Half Men Brand new and exclusive to Comedy Central. Walden, Alan and Jake return in another episode of the hit US comedy Two and a Half Men. Starring Ashton Kutcher. 
18:30New Mike & Molly School Recital Brand new and exclusive. Molly starts to get impatient with her lack of impregnation. Meanwhile, Vince has a tasty business opportunity for Mike - will he bite? 
19:00New Anger Management Charlie and Kate's Dirty Pictures Brand new and exclusive. Charlie manages to persuade Kate to take Nolan on as her PA, but Nolan discovers more than Charlie would like to know. Charlie Sheen stars. 
19:30Friends The One With Rachel's Other Sister Rachel's spoiled, irresponsible sister, Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up for Thanksgiving and causes arguments amongst the gang. 
20:00Friends The One With Rachel's Phone Number Rachel and Phoebe go out for a night together. After Rachel gives a guy her phone number, she worries that he'll call when Ross is at the apartment. 
20:30Friends The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. 
21:00Live At The Apollo The Bafta nominated Live At The Apollo tonight features West Country mentalist Russell Howard and the legendary Jo Brand performing before a packed house. 
22:00South Park Cartman Finds Love Cartman's racist ways lead him to weave some unexpected, cupid style, magic. Meanwhile, Kyle is less than happy with what the rumour mill has to say about him. 
22:30South Park Sarcastaball Randy is so enraged by South Park Elementary changing the rules of American Football he sarcastically suggests even more changes - be careful, you might just get what you wish for... 
23:00Live At The Apollo The Bafta nominated Live At The Apollo tonight features West Country mentalist Russell Howard and the legendary Jo Brand performing before a packed house. 
00:00The Daily Show: Global Edition Brand new and exclusive. Join Jon Stewart and his team as they take a satirical sideswipe at news and current affairs from around the world. Emmy Award winning irreverence from Comedy Central. 
00:30New Anger Management Charlie and Kate's Dirty Pictures Brand new and exclusive. Charlie manages to persuade Kate to take Nolan on as her PA, but Nolan discovers more than Charlie would like to know. Charlie Sheen stars. 
01:00South Park Cartman Finds Love Cartman's racist ways lead him to weave some unexpected, cupid style, magic. Meanwhile, Kyle is less than happy with what the rumour mill has to say about him. 
01:30South Park Sarcastaball Randy is so enraged by South Park Elementary changing the rules of American Football he sarcastically suggests even more changes - be careful, you might just get what you wish for... 
02:00Two And A Half Men Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie is sick of Alan's mooching and reaches his breaking point during the brothers' double date, whilst Jake makes the most of being home alone. Charlie Sheen stars. 
02:30Two And A Half Men Kissing Abraham Lincoln Lydia's rude attitude towards Berta has them at odds and Charlie facing a dilemma: he must choose one of them. Kandi uses her 'assets' to stop Alan from selling their condo. 
02:55The King Of Queens No Retreat Carrie brings Doug to her company retreat for the weekend. When Carrie tries to get Doug to look like a successful person he ends up putting on a bad show. 
03:20The King Of Queens Ticker Treat Arthur's hostility towards the whole concept of Halloween reveals that he has some real-life ghosts to exorcise. What could this mean for his health? 
03:45Frasier Morning Becomes Entertainment To improve contract negotiations, Frasier fills in as a host on a morning TV programme, prompting accusations that he is an "applause junkie". 
04:10Everybody Loves Raymond How They Met Memories of how they first met flood back when Ray and Debra prepare Ally for her first play date with a little boy. 
04:35Everybody Loves Raymond Boob Job Debra is upset when she sees Ray's giddy reaction to her friend's recently acquired womanly "assets". 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.