This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount 2 on Friday, May 24 2013

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
09:00The King Of Queens Switch Sitters Doug and Carrie ask Deacon and Kelly to watch Arthur for a night. But trouble arises when they ignore Carrie's warnings about what happens when Arthur eats spicy food. 
09:30Scrubs My Last Chance J.D. and Molly (Heather Graham) are just about to get it on, but J.D. must first get the okay from Elliot - will she agree? Dr. Cox has to complete community service in an ambulance. 
10:00Scrubs My Ocardial Infarction J.D. tries to pawn off Elliot as his 'sidekick' but is shocked to find that she's the better doctor. Meanwhile, the Janitor gathers up the 'Brain Trust' to upstage Ted's band. 
10:30Two And A Half Men Does This Smell Funny To You? In the season two finale of the Emmy Award winning show, Jake has to read a report of his weekend to his class. His recollections are a vast departure from what we see! 
11:00Everybody Loves Raymond Pants on Fire Marie starts to favour Robert when Ray admits to having a party 20 years ago. The tables turn however when Robert tells her it was his party not Ray's. 
11:30Everybody Loves Raymond Robert's Date Robert seems to think he has to act black to date a black woman. 
12:00Frasier Farewell, Nervosa Frasier addresses the issue of his finances and is irritated by a folk singer who is disrupting the peace and quiet of Cafe Nervosa. 
12:30Frasier The Devil And Dr. Phil: Frasier is envious of the celebrity status of his old pal Dr. Phil McGraw, and is surprised to learn that his old agent, Bebe Glazer, is now his friend's agent. 
13:00The King Of Queens Cheap Saks Carrie befriends an ex of Doug's (Janeane Garofalo), who turns out to be extremely annoying. Before ditching her Carrie wants to use her employee discount one last time to go shopping. 
13:30Two And A Half Men Pilot Charlie is a successful jingle writer in Malibu. His decadent lifestyle turns upside down when his down on his luck brother Alan and his son Jake move in. The first episode of the hit comedy. 
14:00Everybody Loves Raymond Pants on Fire Marie starts to favour Robert when Ray admits to having a party 20 years ago. The tables turn however when Robert tells her it was his party not Ray's. 
14:30Everybody Loves Raymond Robert's Date Robert seems to think he has to act black to date a black woman. 
15:00Frasier Farewell, Nervosa Frasier addresses the issue of his finances and is irritated by a folk singer who is disrupting the peace and quiet of Cafe Nervosa. 
15:30Frasier The Devil And Dr. Phil: Frasier is envious of the celebrity status of his old pal Dr. Phil McGraw, and is surprised to learn that his old agent, Bebe Glazer, is now his friend's agent. 
16:00The King Of Queens Trash Talker Trouble is in the air when Deacon befriends Doug's sworn enemy (Jon Favreau) from grade school. Tensions rise when Carrie learns the man might have a position for her at his office. 
16:30The King Of Queens Precedent Nixin' Carrie and Doug convince Deacon and Kelly to go on a trip to Florida with them. All is going great until they realise their hotel is filled with students on Spring break. 
17:00Everybody Loves Raymond Pants on Fire Marie starts to favour Robert when Ray admits to having a party 20 years ago. The tables turn however when Robert tells her it was his party not Ray's. 
17:30Everybody Loves Raymond Robert's Date Robert seems to think he has to act black to date a black woman. 
18:00Scrubs My Hypocritical Oath J.D. becomes attracted to a bartender named Kylie but discovers her new boyfriend has an STD. Dr. Cox anxiously awaits the Lakers game but must tape it to watch after his shift. 
18:30Scrubs My Quarantine J.D. takes Kylie out on their first date, but all does not go according to plan and they end up at the Sacred Heart Hospital trapped in quarantine. Tara Reid guest stars. 
19:00M*A*S*H Picture This Potter wants a picture of the entire M*A*S*H unit as a gift for Mildred's birthday, but Hawkeye refuses to pose for the picture due to a rift with B.J. and Charles. 
19:30M*A*S*H Who Knew? When one of the nurses is killed by a land mine, Hawkeye, who used to date her, takes it upon him to deliver the eulogy. However, he discovers that she had deep feelings for him. 
20:00The Daily Show Jon Stewart, and his team, take a satirical sideswipe at the latest news & current affairs. Tonight's guest is Mr Stewart's arch-nemesis - political commentator Bill O'Reilly! 
20:30Two And A Half Men Always A Bridesmaid Never A Burro Alan is depressed as Kandi has left him to stay with Judith. Charlie starts sleeping with Kandi's mother, Mandi, and it's not long before daddy is on the scene too! 
21:00Mr Bean Mr. Bean: Mr. Bean has a maths exam to sit but really should've done some revision! When visiting the beach maybe he should've put his trunks on beforehand, and boredom strikes at a church service. 
21:30Mr Bean The Return of Mr. Bean: Turns out Bean isn't the easiest shopper to deal with in the world, and probably shouldn't be allowed out to eat either, and as for preparing to meet the Queen? Best not ask! 
22:00Mr Bean The Curse of Mr. Bean: A trip to the swimming pool results in expensive parking and nakedness - poor Mr. Bean! A trip to the cinema leads to a horrific time for Bean. Angus Deayton guest stars. 
22:30Mr Bean Mr. Bean Goes to Town: Bean has his brand-spanking-new camera stolen but all is not lost. When Bean takes his girlfriend to a magic show and disco it's not long before the night isn't going his way. 
23:00The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Jon Stewart, and his team, take a satirical sideswipe at the latest news and current affairs. Tonight's guest is Morgan Freeman, talking about his new movie 'Now You See Me'. 
23:30Just Add Water Film Ray Tuckby is a decent guy with a dead-end life in the dead-end town of Trona, CA. After encouragement from a stranger, Ray begins to dream again... Dylan Walsh and Jonah Hill star. (2008) 
01:20Just For Laughs, Just For... ...Comedy Central: From the Montreal comedy festival, tonight's show features: John Maloney, Mitch Hedberg, Derek Edwards and Robert Schimmel. 
01:50Just For Laughs, Just For... ...Comedy Central: From the Montreal comedy festival, tonight's show features: Wanda Sykes, Greg Fitzsimmons and Bill Bailey. 
02:20Just For Laughs, Just For... ...Comedy Central: From the Montreal comedy festival, tonight's show features: John Maloney, Harland Williams and Norm McDonald. 
02:50The US Office Heavy Competition Michael tries to persuade Dwight to pass him Dunder Mifflin secrets. Jim tricks Andy into thinking he's listening to his advice. 
03:15The US Office Broke When Michael discovers his new company can't survive financially for much longer, he panics. Dunder Mifflin is tired of losing clients, and makes a move to solve the problem. 
03:40South Park The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs Butters gets the blame, and then the glory, after the boys write a book intended to be gratuitously rude but which is hailed as a masterpiece. Murder is the answer! 
04:05Sir Leslie Quint "A Life In Film" For over 50 years, British filmmaker Sir Leslie Quint has shocked cinema audiences. Now in the twilight of his years, Sir Leslie has agreed to speak about the controversies that define him. 
04:10Sir Leslie Quint "A Life In Film" For over 50 years, British filmmaker Sir Leslie Quint has shocked cinema audiences. Now in the twilight of his years, Sir Leslie has agreed to speak about the controversies that define him. 
04:15Sir Leslie Quint "A Life In Film" For over 50 years, British filmmaker Sir Leslie Quint has shocked cinema audiences. Now in the twilight of his years, Sir Leslie has agreed to speak about the controversies that define him. 
04:20M*A*S*H Picture This Potter wants a picture of the entire M*A*S*H unit as a gift for Mildred's birthday, but Hawkeye refuses to pose for the picture due to a rift with B.J. and Charles. 
04:45M*A*S*H Who Knew? When one of the nurses is killed by a land mine, Hawkeye, who used to date her, takes it upon him to deliver the eulogy. However, he discovers that she had deep feelings for him. 
05:10The King Of Queens Friender Bender When Doug and Carrie offer to pay damages for rear-ending Deacon and Kelly's car, it causes friction between the two couples. But what was the cause of the accident...? 
05:35The King Of Queens No Retreat Carrie brings Doug to her company retreat for the weekend. When Carrie tries to get Doug to look like a successful person he ends up putting on a bad show. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.