This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Tuesday, May 21 2013

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Two And A Half Men People Who Love Peepholes Alan moves out of the beach house but it's not long before Walden turns up asking for help with his ex-wife Bridget. Will Walden save Alan from living with his mother? 
08:30Two And A Half Men Big Girls Don't Throw Food When Jake comes to stay for the weekend he takes some career advice from Walden... much to Alan's dismay. Ashton Kutcher stars. 
09:00Two And A Half Men Nine Magic Fingers Alan sets Walden (Ashton Kutcher) off on the hunt for a new woman but it's a face from the past that he finds. Can Alan save him? Jenny McCarthy guest-stars. 
09:30Friends The One With George Stephanopoulos When Ross mourns the anniversary of losing his virginity to Carol, the boys convince him to go to a hockey game which leads to an unfortunate incident. 
10:00Friends The One With The East German Laundry Detergent Ross helps Rachel do laundry and considers the evening a first date. Meanwhile, Joey has Monica pose as his new girlfriend. 
10:30Friends The One With The Butt Joey gets his big film break when he's hired to be Al Pacino's stunt butt. Meanwhile, Chandler has a relationship with all the "fun" but none of the responsibility. 
11:00Two And A Half Men The Sea is a Harsh Mistress: After a surfing accident, Charlie tells Alan that their deceased father appeared to him in a vision with a request that Charlie finds hard to fulfil. 
11:30Two And A Half Men A Pot Smoking Monkey Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared, having already lost everything else. Just how far will he go to keep the dog? 
12:00New Whitney 48 Hours Brand new and exclusive. Mark has a theory that couples know within 48 hours of meeting whether they want to be together. Whitney disagrees, but Alex recounts the night they met... 
12:30Friends The One With George Stephanopoulos When Ross mourns the anniversary of losing his virginity to Carol, the boys convince him to go to a hockey game which leads to an unfortunate incident. 
13:00Friends The One With The East German Laundry Detergent Ross helps Rachel do laundry and considers the evening a first date. Meanwhile, Joey has Monica pose as his new girlfriend. 
13:30Friends The One With The Butt Joey gets his big film break when he's hired to be Al Pacino's stunt butt. Meanwhile, Chandler has a relationship with all the "fun" but none of the responsibility. 
14:00Two And A Half Men Humiliation Is A Visual Medium Charlie and Mia's chaste relationship takes a turn for the worse when Charlie makes an inappropriate proposal. Maybe wooing a girl named Kandi will make it all better? 
14:30Two And A Half Men Love Isn't Blind It's R******d Charlie can't wait to consummate his relationship with Mia, but an oversexed ex-girlfriend named Kandi throws a spanner in the works. Maybe Alan can help him out? 
15:00New Whitney 48 Hours Brand new and exclusive. Mark has a theory that couples know within 48 hours of meeting whether they want to be together. Whitney disagrees, but Alex recounts the night they met... 
15:30Two And A Half Men The Sea is a Harsh Mistress: After a surfing accident, Charlie tells Alan that their deceased father appeared to him in a vision with a request that Charlie finds hard to fulfil. 
16:00Two And A Half Men A Pot Smoking Monkey Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared, having already lost everything else. Just how far will he go to keep the dog? 
16:30Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 1: Ross and Rachel arrive at the hospital. Ross' mum gives Ross her mother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel with. 
17:00Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 2: After forty-seven hours of labour, Rachel has her baby. However, Joey finds Ross' engagement ring and accidently proposes to a vulnerable Rachel. 
17:30Friends The One Where No One Proposes Following Joey's accidental proposal to Rachel, he tries to tell her it was an accident but can't find an opportune moment. 
18:00Two And A Half Men People Who Love Peepholes Alan moves out of the beach house but it's not long before Walden turns up asking for help with his ex-wife Bridget. Will Walden save Alan from living with his mother? 
18:30Two And A Half Men Big Girls Don't Throw Food When Jake comes to stay for the weekend he takes some career advice from Walden... much to Alan's dismay. Ashton Kutcher stars. 
19:00New Mike & Molly School Recital Brand new and exclusive. Molly starts to get impatient with her lack of impregnation. Meanwhile, Vince has a tasty business opportunity for Mike - will he bite? 
19:30Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 1: Ross and Rachel arrive at the hospital. Ross' mum gives Ross her mother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel with. 
20:00Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 2: After forty-seven hours of labour, Rachel has her baby. However, Joey finds Ross' engagement ring and accidently proposes to a vulnerable Rachel. 
20:30Friends The One Where No One Proposes Following Joey's accidental proposal to Rachel, he tries to tell her it was an accident but can't find an opportune moment. 
21:00Live At The Apollo From the world famous Hammersmith Apollo comes this hilarious stand-up comedy show, hosted by Welsh funnyman Rhod Gilbert, who welcomes Liverpool comedian, John Bishop, to centre stage. 
22:00New Two And A Half Men Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped Brand new & exclusive. Walden meets a hot twenty-three year-old, but it's her grandmother that intrigues him. Jake pays Alan a visit and has some big news. Season finale. 
22:30New Mike & Molly School Recital Brand new and exclusive. Molly starts to get impatient with her lack of impregnation. Meanwhile, Vince has a tasty business opportunity for Mike - will he bite? 
23:00Two And A Half Men The Sea is a Harsh Mistress: After a surfing accident, Charlie tells Alan that their deceased father appeared to him in a vision with a request that Charlie finds hard to fulfil. 
23:30Two And A Half Men A Pot Smoking Monkey Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared, having already lost everything else. Just how far will he go to keep the dog? 
00:00South Park Fun With Veal When the boys discover that veal is made from baby cows they are horrified. Time for a "terrorist" mission to rescue the poor little blighters from their deathly fate! 
00:30South Park The Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer The gang are desperate to see the Terrance and Phillip trailer (featuring in one of the breaks of 'The Russell Crowe Show') but events conspire against them. 
01:00Friends The One With George Stephanopoulos When Ross mourns the anniversary of losing his virginity to Carol, the boys convince him to go to a hockey game which leads to an unfortunate incident. 
01:30Friends The One With The East German Laundry Detergent Ross helps Rachel do laundry and considers the evening a first date. Meanwhile, Joey has Monica pose as his new girlfriend. 
02:00South Park Fun With Veal When the boys discover that veal is made from baby cows they are horrified. Time for a "terrorist" mission to rescue the poor little blighters from their deathly fate! 
02:30South Park The Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer The gang are desperate to see the Terrance and Phillip trailer (featuring in one of the breaks of 'The Russell Crowe Show') but events conspire against them. 
02:55The King Of Queens Pregnant Pause (Part 1): Arthur demands a bathroom in the basement and Carrie discovers she is pregnant but worries that the timing is wrong. Meanwhile, Deacon and Kelly begin to reconcile. 
03:20The King Of Queens Pregnant Pause (Part 2): Carrie is pregnant, and in trying to take some of the burden off her, Doug takes too much on himself - while Arthur doesn't help matters at all! 
03:45Frasier Something About Dr. Mary: Frasier is reluctant to confront Mary, the call-screener covering for Roz, whose outspoken and boisterous personality overshadows him on his own show. 
04:10Everybody Loves Raymond Move Over Ray starts sleeping on the couch because he can't breathe when Debra cuddles him. 
04:35Everybody Loves Raymond The Getaway Ray and Debra have a weekend away together and work out that they're not very exciting. 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.