This week's UK TV & radio

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Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday

Listings for Paramount on Saturday, May 18 2013

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Friends The One With The Red Sweater Rachel won't tell anybody who the father is until she tells him. Meanwhile, Joey mistakenly thinks Phoebe is pregnant and makes a gallant gesture. 
08:30Friends The One Where Rachel Tells... Chandler and Monica prepare to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell the father of her baby. 
09:00Friends The One With The Video Tape Ross and Rachel disagree over who came onto whom when they hooked up. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler meet another couple while on their honeymoon. 
09:30Friends The One With Rachel's Date Ross is horrified to learn that Rachel is going on a date with a handsome actor, Kash, especially since she is pregnant with his child. 
10:00Friends The One With The Halloween Party At Monica and Chandler's Halloween party Phoebe runs into her sister's fiance, Eric (Sean Penn), and finds herself attracted to him. 
10:30Friends The One With The Stain Chandler hires a maid to help Monica but she thinks the maid is stealing her clothes. Meanwhile, Eric (Sean Penn) breaks up with Ursula and wants to date Phoebe. 
11:00Friends The One With The Stripper Rachel tells her short-tempered father that she is pregnant with Ross' baby. Monica arranges to have a 'stripper' perform at Chandler's belated bachelor party. 
11:30Friends The One With The Rumour Monica invites a high school friend, Will (Brad Pitt) to her Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel finds out that he and Ross started a mean rumour about her at school. 
12:00Friends The One With Monica's Boots Phoebe finds out that Sting's son is in Ben's class, so she goes to see Sting's wife (real wife Trudie Styler) pretending to be Ben's mother. 
12:30Friends The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. 
13:00Friends The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel feels she can't go on dates anymore due to her being pregnant, so Joey decides to take her on a date. 
13:30Friends The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Monica sways Chandler's dislike of baths but he soon becomes addicted to them. Meanwhile, Monica mistakenly tells Phoebe that Joey has a crush on her. 
14:00New Two And A Half Men My Bodacious Vidalia Brand new and exclusive. Alan is still down in the dumps after his split from Lyndsey, so Walden decides it's 'makeover' time - with interesting results... Ashton Kutcher stars. 
14:30New Mike & Molly Molly's Out of Town Brand new and exclusive. While Molly's away on school business, Mike can't stop pining for her, so Carl forces him out on the town. Something he just might regret... 
15:00New Anger Management Charlie Gets Lindsay Lohan Into Trouble Brand new and exclusive. Charlie is hired to be Lindsay Lohan's on-set anger therapist. It doesn't take long for things to heat up between them! 
15:30New Anger Management Charlie and Lacey Pi** Off The Neighbourhood: Brand new and exclusive. When Lacey and Charlie's pedantic neighbour have cross words Charlie has to intervene, but things go from bad to worse! 
16:00New Anger Management Charlie and Kate Horse Around Brand new and exclusive. Charlie decides some group bonding is needed, so takes his patients to a 'horse therapy' ranch - what could go wrong? Charlie Sheen stars. 
16:30Friends The One With The Red Sweater Rachel won't tell anybody who the father is until she tells him. Meanwhile, Joey mistakenly thinks Phoebe is pregnant and makes a gallant gesture. 
17:00Friends The One Where Rachel Tells... Chandler and Monica prepare to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell the father of her baby. 
17:30Friends The One With The Video Tape Ross and Rachel disagree over who came onto whom when they hooked up. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler meet another couple while on their honeymoon. 
18:00Friends The One With Rachel's Date Ross is horrified to learn that Rachel is going on a date with a handsome actor, Kash, especially since she is pregnant with his child. 
18:30New Two And A Half Men My Bodacious Vidalia Brand new and exclusive. Alan is still down in the dumps after his split from Lyndsey, so Walden decides it's 'makeover' time - with interesting results... Ashton Kutcher stars. 
19:00Friends The One With The Halloween Party At Monica and Chandler's Halloween party Phoebe runs into her sister's fiance, Eric (Sean Penn), and finds herself attracted to him. 
19:30Friends The One With The Stain Chandler hires a maid to help Monica but she thinks the maid is stealing her clothes. Meanwhile, Eric (Sean Penn) breaks up with Ursula and wants to date Phoebe. 
20:00Friends The One With The Stripper Rachel tells her short-tempered father that she is pregnant with Ross' baby. Monica arranges to have a 'stripper' perform at Chandler's belated bachelor party. 
20:30Friends The One With The Rumour Monica invites a high school friend, Will (Brad Pitt) to her Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel finds out that he and Ross started a mean rumour about her at school. 
21:00Michael McIntyre Live & Laughing 'Live & Laughing' is the mesmerising first show of McIntyre's sell out run at the Apollo. His energy, charm and pinpoint observations leave the full house in raptures. 
22:20Live At The Apollo Jimmy Carr hosts this show, and his special guest is the award-winning comedian Alan Carr (no relation). They point the finger at the frustrations and absurdities of modern life. 
23:20Not Another Teen Movie Film At the stereotypical John Hughes High School discover whether the popular jock, Jake, can transform Janey, the ugly yet pretty girl, into the prom queen? Chris Evans and Jaime Pressly star. (2001) 
01:05South Park Towelie Stan's mother buys the boys a video game system called The Okama Gamesphere but it is stolen whilst they are at school. To get it back they must help a talking towel take on the government! 
01:35South Park How To Eat With Your Butt It's school photo time. Kenny decides to play a prank by wearing his parka upside down and revealing his buttocks to the world. Cartman decides to take it a step further... 
02:05South Park The Entity Kyle's annoying, geeky cousin arrives in town and it's not long before the boys are doing their best to get rid of him. Mr Garrison invents a slightly sexual new mode of transport. 
02:30South Park Here Comes The Neighbourhood When Token is picked on for being rich he decides to market the town as a millionaire's playground - cue Will Smith and Snoop Dogg moving in! Class war soon follows! 
02:55The King Of Queens Papa Pill Carrie tries to encourage Arthur to go to the weekly dance at the seniors centre. When Doug volunteers to be Arthur's carer he finds it a much more demanding task then he had anticipated. 
03:20The King Of Queens Package Deal Doug quits his job at IPS because he's feeling unappreciated while Carrie goes overboard with the tanning lotion. Guest starring Lou Ferrigno. 
03:45Frasier They're Playing Our Song Producer Kenny wants a new theme tune to open Frasier's show. Frasier takes it upon himself to write a typically virtuoso, ambitious and elaborate composition. 
04:10Everybody Loves Raymond Pants on Fire Marie starts to favour Robert when Ray admits to having a party 20 years ago. The tables turn however when Robert tells her it was his party not Ray's. 
04:35Everybody Loves Raymond Robert's Date Robert seems to think he has to act black to date a black woman. 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.