This week's UK TV & radio

Congratulations on being true to the origins of web browsing. These fancy new browsers supporting web standards, such as CSS, just detract from the pure accessibility goodness of this site.

Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday

Listings for Paramount on Thursday, May 31 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle The Break-Up Mike and Frankie are shocked to find out that Axl is dating the head cheerleader. Meanwhile, Sue and Brick become freaked out after they watch a horror movie about zombies. (S1, E17) 
08:35The Middle The Fun House Mike gets a pool table so that their house can be the "fun house" in the neighbourhood, and Frankie's job could be in jeopardy when a consultant visits Ehlert Motors. (S1, E18) 
09:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin Monica's gorgeous cousin (Denise Richards) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross as they become infatuated by her good looks. (S7, E19) 
09:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Rachel's Big Kiss Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (Winona Ryder). Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos. (S7, E20) 
10:00Gilmore Girls Richard in Stars Hollow Retired Richard is driving Emily crazy, so Lorelai is coerced into taking her father for a day in Stars Hollow, where he proceeds to drive Lorelai and Rory batty. (S2, E12) 
11:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Vows Chandler and Monica struggle to write their wedding vows. This prompts the group to remember the journey Monica and Chandler have made over the past few years. (S7, E21) 
11:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Chandler's Dad Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father (Kathleen Turner). Meanwhile, Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche. (S7, E22) 
12:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 1: Chandler gets the pre-wedding jitters and runs away. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds a positive pregnancy test and assumes it's Monica's. (S7, E23) 
12:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 2: Monica remains unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. Meanwhile, Joey's drunk co-star could make him miss the nuptials. (S7, E24) 
13:00Impractical Jokers: Season 7 The guys hit the ice rink to play a slippery balloon game and try to get support for ridiculous causes at the park. Tonight's punishment involves a trip to the movies. (S7, E08) 
13:30Impractical Jokers: Season 7 The guys try to kiss unsuspecting strangers at a mall, they focus-group their absurd life stories as potential movies, and the big loser gets a room full of enemies. (S7, E09) 
14:00Friends: Season 8 The One With Joey's Interview Joey prepares for an interview with Soap Opera Digest, although he's afraid of saying something stupid that may jeopardize his career... again. (S8, E19) 
14:30Friends: Season 8 The One With The Baby Shower During her baby shower Rachel has the realization that she is totally unprepared to care for a baby, sparking her mother's offer to move in with Ross and her. (S8, E20) 
15:00Friends: Season 8 The One With The Cooking Class Monica's cooking skills get a bad review in a newspaper. After confronting the critic who wrote it, she decides to join a cooking class, with Joey in tow. (S8, E21) 
15:30Friends: Season 8 The One Where Rachel Is Late When Rachel's pregnancy goes beyond her due date, the pain makes Rachel increasingly irritable. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep at Joey's movie premiere. (S8, E22) 
16:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air All Guts, No Glory Will withdraws from a difficult college philosophy class then regrets his decision when he realises that the professor is the most stimulating teacher he has ever known. (S4, E03) 
16:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Father of the Year When Will tries to impress a beautiful college girl (Tyra Banks) by pretending to be a single father, using his new infant cousin, he ends up in a whole heap of trouble. (S4, E04) 
17:00Friends: Season 8 The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 1: Ross and Rachel arrive at the hospital. Ross' mum gives Ross her mother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel with. (S8, E23) 
17:30Friends: Season 8 The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 2: After forty-seven hours of labour, Rachel has her baby. However, Joey finds Ross' engagement ring and accidently proposes to a vulnerable Rachel. (S8, E24) 
17:55Friends: Season 9 The One Where No One Proposes Following Joey's accidental proposal to Rachel, he tries to tell her it was an accident but can't find an opportune moment. (S9, E01) 
18:25Friends: Season 9 The One Where Emma Cries When Joey attempts to gain Ross' forgiveness for mistakenly asking Rachel to marry him, they end up in the emergency room. (S9, E02) 
18:55Friends: Season 9 The One With the Pediatrician Phoebe and Joey decide to set each other up on blind dates but Joey forgets, and finds a complete stranger named Mike (Paul Rudd) to be Phoebe's date. (S9, E03) 
19:25Friends: Season 9 The One With the Sharks Monica thinks Chandler is aroused by shark documentaries. Meanwhile, Joey thinks he's already slept with the girl he's dating. (S9, E04) 
19:50Friends: Season 9 The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner Phoebe plans a night out for her birthday, but only her and Joey are on time, as all the other friends have issues which make them late. (S9, E05) 
20:25Friends: Season 9 The One With the Male Nanny Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny (Freddie Prinze Jr.). Chandler feels insecure when Monica tells him that she has met "the funniest man she has ever met". (S9, E06) 
21:00Balls of Fury Film A disgraced former ping pong champion is drawn back into the world of high-stakes table tennis to carry out a top-secret mission for the FBI. Christopher Walken and Terry Crews star. (2007) 
22:50Not Another Teen Movie Film At the stereotypical John Hughes High School discover whether the popular jock, Jake, can transform Janey, the ugly yet pretty girl, into the prom queen? Chris Evans and Jaime Pressly star. (2001) 
00:30South Park A History Channel Thanksgiving When the boys try to learn all about Thanksgiving from The History Channel they get caught up in a mystery involving aliens, Natalie Portman and stuffing! (S15, E13) 
01:00South Park The Poor Kid Kenny's parents are arrested and he is put in foster care - leaving Cartman as the poorest kid in school! Meanwhile, the mysterious masked figure Mysterion returns. (S15, E14) 
01:30South Park Reverse Cowgirl When Clyde leaves the toilet seat up no one could foresee it would have such dire consequences. The boys' efforts to help him through the aftermath lead to pure madness. (S16, E01) 
02:00South Park Cash For Gold Stan receives jewellery from his grandpa but when the boys discover the scandal behind it they're on a mission to take on the J&G Shopping Network! Cartman has other ideas. (S16, E02) 
02:30South Park Faith Hilling The world of internet memes is spinning out of control, leaving Cartman and Kyle racing to keep up. But what nefarious schemes do interweb cats have up their sleeves? (S16, E03) 
03:00South Park Jewpacabra With Passover and Easter coinciding Eric tries to convince everyone that the mythical creature Jewpacabra will be on the hunt for all non-believers. His little scheme backfires. (S16, E04) 
03:25New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Joining Trevor tonight is Tarana Burke, founder of the "Me Too" Movement & co-founder of Just Be, Inc. 
03:50Rick and Morty Close Rick-Counters Of The Rick Kind Rick, falsely blamed for Murder by the council of Ricks, begins a cross-dimensional pursuit with the authorities while trying to prove his innocence. (S1, E10) 
04:15Impractical Jokers: Season 7 The guys hit the ice rink to play a slippery balloon game and try to get support for ridiculous causes at the park. Tonight's punishment involves a trip to the movies. (S7, E08) 
04:35Impractical Jokers: Season 7 The guys try to kiss unsuspecting strangers at a mall, they focus-group their absurd life stories as potential movies, and the big loser gets a room full of enemies. (S7, E09) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.