This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Thursday, March 1 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Scrubs My Best Friend's Wedding The big day arrives for Turk and Carla, but will it all go according to plan? A guilty J.D. tries to help Elliot's heart. George Takei cameos. Season three finale. (S3, E22) 
08:35Scrubs My Old Friend's New Friend Season 4 opener. It's J.D.'s last week as a resident. An attractive but crazy new female doctor, Molly Clock (Heather Graham), starts at the hospital. (S4, E01) 
09:008 Simple Rules The Doyle Wedding Despite trying to avoid their neighbours (The Doyles) at all costs, the Hennessys end up in central roles in the wedding of one of the Doyle girls. (S1, E26) 
09:308 Simple Rules Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman (Part 1): Cate invites her sister to stay after hearing she's having marital problems, meanwhile Bridget goes on a date with Donny. (S1, E27) 
10:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy and Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor who turns out to be Richard's son. (S4, E08) 
10:30Friends: Season 4 The One Where They're Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild and Monica must decide between a steady job as head chef of a restaurant or her catering business with Phoebe. (S4, E09) 
11:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
11:30Friends: Season 4 The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
12:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Embryos Phoebe undergoes an embryo transplant and becomes pregnant. Meanwhile, a simple challenge escalates into a full blown contest between the guys and the girls. (S4, E12) 
12:30Friends: Season 4 The One With Rachel's Crush Chandler has a hard time handling Kathy's new role in a play, in which she pretends to have sex with a handsome man, whilst Rachel is attracted to a customer. (S4, E13) 
13:00Impractical Jokers The guys hit the seas for a special cruise episode! They turn the pool deck into a playground, give misinformation while posing as entertainment officers, and two Jokers get double torture. (S7, E13) 
13:30Impractical Jokers The guys get sassy while posing as auto parts salesmen, then head to the mall where they try to reel in unsuspecting shoppers. The big loser gets stuck in a horrible mess. (S8, E01) 
14:00Friends: Season 5 The One Where Ross Moves In After getting kicked out of his apartment, Ross temporarily moves in with Chandler and Joey, driving all three of them crazy. (S5, E07) 
14:30Friends: Season 5 The One With All The Thanksgivings It's Thanksgiving, and the gang reminisce about previous Thanksgiving experiences - most of them involving major mishaps! (S5, E08) 
15:00Friends: Season 5 The One With Ross's Sandwich Ross gets unusually upset when someone at work takes his sandwich from the refrigerator and eats it. (S5, E09) 
15:30Friends: Season 5 The One With The Inappropriate Sister A bored Ross creates havoc in Joey and Chandler's lives, whilst Rachel is disturbed by her date's inappropriate relationship with his sister. (S5, E10) 
16:008 Simple Rules Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman (Part 2): The sibling rivalry between Cate and Maggie reaches boiling point, meanwhile Paul is concerned when he finds an empty pregnancy kit... (S1, E28) 
16:308 Simple Rules Premiere Bridget finds her popularity waning because of her exclusive, long distance relationship with Donny, while Kerry's social status skyrockets because of her relationship with Kyle. (S2, E01) 
17:00Friends: Season 5 The One With All The Resolutions The friends all make New Year's resolutions, but Rachel's resolution to stop gossiping is becoming the hardest to keep. (S5, E11) 
17:30Friends: Season 5 The One With Chandler's Work Laugh When Ross discovers that Emily is getting remarried, he hits a new low by sleeping with one of Chandler's old flames...Janice! (S5, E12) 
18:00Friends: Season 5 The One With Joey's Bag Phoebe meets her infamous father at her grandmother's funeral. Meanwhile, Chandler discovers that Monica gives terrible massages. (S5, E13) 
18:30Friends: Season 5 The One Where Everybody Finds Out Ross rents an apartment with a window facing Monica and Rachel's place. While checking out the apartment, Phoebe sees Monica and Chandler having sex. (S5, E14) 
19:00Friends: Season 5 The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey Joey's girlfriend likes to punch him and Ross alienates his new neighbours when he refuses to contribute to the retirement donation for the janitor. (S5, E15) 
19:30Friends: Season 5 The One With The Cop After Phoebe finds a police badge, she uses it to do good deeds. That is until she meets the policeman who lost it. (S5, E16) 
20:00New: Takeshi's Castle One hundred contestants try to avoid and the pirates in Turtle Path before getting a soaking in Wet Paint. All of them aiming to storm the castle for victory. Narrated by Jonathan Ross. (S2, E06) 
20:30Most Ridiculous Jobs Narrated by Radio 1 DJ Greg James, Most Ridiculous seeks out the stupidest and most insane videos to ever be found online. This episode focuses on everyone's favourite activity; jobs. (S1, E06) 
21:00Grown Ups 2 Film Lenny (Adam Sandler), decides he wants to move his family back to his hometown. But he's not expecting old (and new) bullies, schizophrenic bus drivers, drunk cops, and psycho ex-girlfriends! (2013) 
23:00Jason Manford Live: First World... ...Problems Jason Manford's brilliant new live show, filmed in Liverpool during his mammoth 2014 UK tour. First World Problems is observational comedy at its very best. 
00:00Impractical Jokers The guys complete tasks at Universal Orlando Resort's Volcano Bay water park, go head-to-head playing a game of TP basketball shootout, and play a game of hot potato with a strange item. (S10, E23) 
00:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes Which special guest was the first "sub" for one of the Jokers? Which Joker thinks he's the best at baseball? And is it Joe, Murr, Q or Sal who is actually an ordained minister? (S2, E04) 
01:00New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Join Trevor Noah and his team as they take a satirical sideswipe at the latest in news and current affairs. Emmy Award winning irreverence from Comedy Central. 
01:30South Park The Snuke The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton. Eric suspects that a new student is planning a terrorist attack but the real culprits are deadlier. (S11, E04) 
02:00South Park The Snuke The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton. Eric suspects that a new student is planning a terrorist attack but the real culprits are deadlier. (S11, E04) 
02:30New: RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars The eliminated queens return for their revenge. But first they must audition for RuPaul's new girl group, the Kitty Girls. Spice Girl Emma Bunton & Adam Lambert (American Idol) guest judge. (S3, E06) 
03:45Rick and Morty Big Trouble in Little Sanchez Summer asks Rick to transport his mind into a teenager to shield her from vampires at school. Beth and Jerry go the extra mile to sort out their relationship. (S2, E07) 
04:15Two And A Half Men What A Lovely Landing Strip Walden continues to woo Zoe with some rather extravagant behaviour. When Bridget turns up on his doorstep things get complicated. Ashton Kutcher stars. (S9, E11) 
04:35Two And A Half Men Slowly And In A Circular Fashion Walden and Bridget go head-to-head over the direction of 'Walden Loves Bridget Inc.' but Walden has a trick up his sleeve. What part will Alan play? (S9, E13) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.