This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount 2 on Thursday, March 1 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
09:00Friends The One With The Donor Disappointed to learn that they cannot conceive a baby naturally, Monica and Chandler 'interview' Chandler's co worker (John Stamos) as a potential sperm donor. (S9, E22) 
09:30Friends The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss Ross and Joey both try to confess to each other about their new relationships with Charlie and Rachel. However, only one of them comes clean... (S10, E01) 
10:05Wipeout USA Contestants make their way through an action-packed giant obstacle course to win a cash prize. In this episode three sisters, a rapping reverend and a balloon sculptor battle it out. (S2, E05) 
11:05Impractical Jokers The guys encourage strangers to fill out their questionnaires with a broken hand in a waiting room, and then head to the market where they solicit strangers for money they don't deserve. (S9, E09) 
11:30Impractical Jokers The guys go face-to-face hitting the bulls-eye at a clothing store, and go head-to-head in a focus group sabotaging each other with strange inventions. (S9, E11) 
12:00Impractical Jokers The guys undermine each other in a focus group, spread much confusion while teaming up at a bagel shop, and pass ridiculous notes to strangers at the park. (S9, E12) 
12:30Impractical Jokers The guys take name calling to new heights as receptionists and try to get donations for bogus charities at a pizza shop. (S9, E13) 
13:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll Will and Lisa's wedding day looms, with both families preparing for the big day. However, love soon blossoms between other members of each family... (S5, E25) 
13:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Burnin' Down the House: Phil becomes nervous when he invites his boss to dinner. Will burns down the kitchen, attempting to cook, so enlists the help of Geoffrey to disguise the accident. (S6, E01) 
14:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Get a Job Hillary's talk show is looking for an assistant. Will and Carlton fight over who gets the job. A famous star, Maurice (Chris Rock) visits their mansion to discuss doing the show. (S6, E02) 
14:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Stress Related Will, in his new job on Hillary's show, over medicates an ill Hillary and has to try and protect her chances at getting a new sponsor. Meanwhile, Carlton awaits a phone call. (S6, E03) 
15:00Two And A Half Men Enjoy Those Garlic Balls Despite feeling jealous that his ex is moving on, Alan must encourage her if he is to ever stop paying that damned alimony! First appearance of Greg "Herb" Melnick. (S2, E02) 
15:30Two And A Half Men A Bag Full of Jawea Jake thinks he's dreaming when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended practically naked in Charlie's kitchen. That's our Charlie! Emmy Award winning comedy. (S2, E03) 
16:00Wipeout USA Contestants make their way through an action-packed giant obstacle course to win a cash prize. In this episode a super grandma and a boot camp instructor take on the course. (S2, E06) 
17:00Impractical Jokers The guys show who's boss while working the counter at a fast-food restaurant, whisper sweet nothings to strangers, and this week's punishment involves a cow! (S9, E14) 
17:30Impractical Jokers The guys are on the prowl for partners in crime at a supermarket, throw caution to the wind as romantics in the park, and this week's punishment involves a child. (S9, E16) 
18:00Impractical Jokers The guys head to the mall completing challenges while spinning the "Wheel of Faces", ask "Did I Deserve That?" to confused customers, and save strangers from being shot with a water gun. (S9, E17) 
18:30Impractical Jokers The guys ask strangers to hold a random object for them chosen by the other guys, then team-up and teach business seminars, controlled by the others. (S9, E19) 
19:00Scrubs My Best Friend's Wedding The big day arrives for Turk and Carla, but will it all go according to plan? A guilty J.D. tries to help Elliot's heart. George Takei cameos. Season three finale. (S3, E22) 
19:30Scrubs My Old Friend's New Friend Season 4 opener. It's J.D.'s last week as a resident. An attractive but crazy new female doctor, Molly Clock (Heather Graham), starts at the hospital. (S4, E01) 
20:00Bob's Burgers Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl Gene's musical based on Die Hard isn't selected as the school's fall play, so he, with help from Louise, stages a production to run on the same night. (S5, E01) 
20:30Bob's Burgers Tina and the Real Ghost Tina begins an out-of-this-world romance with a ghost that is believed to be living in the basement. Word of the ghost sends two "ghost hunters" to the restaurant. (S5, E02) 
21:00Bob's Burgers Dawn of the Peck A wild bird attack causes chaos at the Annual Fischoeder Turk-tacular Turkey Town Festival when Linda and the kids go there for Thanksgiving. Zach Galifianakis features. (S5, E04) 
21:30Bob's Burgers Tina Tailor Soldier Spy To find who is leaking their cookie sales leads, Tina starts to spy on her old Thundergirls troop. Meanwhile, Linda becomes a blonde. (S5, E07) 
22:00South Park: Season 10 Make Love, Not Warcraft The boys are all shades of mad when a 'griefer' repeatedly kills them in an online game. Some serious training is in order so they can defeat him and play the game! (S10, E08) 
22:30South Park: Season 10 Mystery of The Urinal Deuce Someone defecates in a urinal at school! Cartman rants that it's a conspiracy "like 9/11!" The entire town think so too! Time for a trip to the White House. (S10, E09) 
23:008 Out of 10 Cats A panel show based on statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Dave Spikey; joined by John Barrowman, Vic Reeves, Chris Addison and Jade Goody. (S4, E07) 
23:308 Out of 10 Cats A panel show based on statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Dave Spikey; joined by Alan Carr, David Gest, Joan Rivers and Alex Zane. (S4, E08) 
00:00Kevin Bridges: A Whole... ...Different Story. Scottish comedian Kevin Bridges muses on economic theory, art history and diet tips on stage in front of 12,000 fans at the SSE Hydro in Glasgow. 
01:00Bob's Burgers V for Valentine-Detta On Valentine's Day, Tina gets her heart broken, so Linda and Louise attempt to cheer her up by taking her on a girls' night out. Bob and Gene become closer than ever. (S8, E08) 
01:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Love in an Elevator: The guys are throwing a bachelor party for Will. On the way, Will, Carlton, and Jazz get stuck in an elevator. They recall past events for each of them. (S5, E24) 
02:008 Out of 10 Cats A panel show based on statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Dave Spikey; joined by John Barrowman, Vic Reeves, Chris Addison and Jade Goody. (S4, E07) 
02:308 Out of 10 Cats A panel show based on statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Dave Spikey; joined by Alan Carr, David Gest, Joan Rivers and Alex Zane. (S4, E08) 
03:00So I Married An Axe Murderer Film Charlie (Mike Myers) hasn't had much luck with women, but then he meets Harriet, the girl of his dreams... or is it his nightmares? Charlie begins to suspect that Harriet is not what she seems. (1993) 
04:25The Middle Valentine's Day Axl has a date, Sue has her first boy-girl party, and Brick is at a sleepover. So will Mike and Frankie have an opportunity to have a romantic Valentine's Day? (S1, E15) 
04:50The Middle The Bee Brick wins a local spelling bee and Mike is highly enthusiastic about his talent. Meanwhile Sue's birthday is forgotten so Frankie tries to make it up to her on the trip to Chicago. (S1, E16) 
05:10The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Save the Last Trance for Me While at a magic show, Will is unknowingly hypnotized and begins to act like a child at the ring of a bell. (S5, E21) 
05:35The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air To Thine Own Self Be Blue... and Gold: A lifelong friend of Philip's visits the family and tries to persuade Will to do something illegal for him. Carlton and Hilary both try online dating. (S5, E22) 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.