This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Wednesday, January 16 2019

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Scrubs My Hypocritical Oath J.D. becomes attracted to a bartender but discovers her new boyfriend has an STD. Dr. Cox anxiously awaits the Lakers game but must tape it to watch after his shift. (S4, E15) 
08:35Scrubs My Quarantine J.D. takes Kylie out on their first date, but all does not go according to plan and they end up at the Sacred Heart Hospital trapped in quarantine. Tara Reid guest stars. (S4, E16) 
09:008 Simple Rules What Dad Would Want Rory decides to try out for the basketball team as his dad had would have liked it. Meanwhile Bridget accidentally wrecks a collage that Kerry had made of Paul. (S2, E07) 
09:308 Simple Rules The First Thanksgiving Cate's determined to have the traditional Thanksgiving with the family. When the girls want to go to a party, she tells them to bring their dates to dinner instead. (S2, E08) 
10:00Friends The One With All The Candy Monica becomes popular with her neighbours because of her homemade candy. Meanwhile, Ross teaches Phoebe how to ride a bike... literally. (S7, E09) 
10:30Friends The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
11:00Friends The One With All The Cheesecakes Chandler and Rachel can't help eating the irresistible cheesecakes that are meant for a neighbour. (S7, E11) 
11:30Friends The One Where They're Up All Night After the gang head to the roof to see a passing comet, separate events unfold that lead to all of them having a sleepless night. (S7, E12) 
12:00Friends The One Where Rosita Dies Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (Jason Alexander). Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler both think they've broken Rosita, Joey's recliner. (S7, E13) 
12:30Friends The One Where They All Turn Thirty Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th celebrations. (S7, E14) 
13:00Impractical Jokers The jokers must explain why they've been suddenly doused with water while working at the mall. Later, a four-way challenge gets childish as the guys battle to make each other laugh. (S10, E19) 
13:30Impractical Jokers Murr, Sal, Joe and Q beg supermarket shoppers to hold on to a weird item for them, and tonight's big loser must reveal his embarrassing digital life to his own father. (S10, E20) 
14:00Friends The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
14:30Friends The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel feels she can't go on dates anymore due to her being pregnant, so Joey decides to take her on a date. (S8, E12) 
15:00Friends The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Monica sways Chandler's dislike of baths but he soon becomes addicted to them. Meanwhile, Monica mistakenly tells Phoebe that Joey has a crush on her. (S8, E13) 
15:30Friends The One With The Secret Closet Chandler becomes obsessed with finding out what is behind the door of Monica's secret closet. (S8, E14) 
16:00The Office (U.S.) Company Picnic Michael and Holly reunite to create a skit on the history of Dunder Mifflin at the company picnic, bringing back romantic feelings. Pam and Jim discover a major surprise. (S5, E28) 
16:30The Office (U.S.) Gossip Michael revels in being "in the loop" with some office gossip about Stanley. Though it doesn't take long for the gossiping to get out of hand... will Jim and Pam's secret be safe? (S6, E01) 
17:00Friends The One With The Birthing Video Monica prepares a special Valentine's Day for Chandler which doesn't quite go to plan. Meanwhile, Joey ends up telling Ross about his feelings for Rachel. (S8, E15) 
17:30Friends The One Where Joey Tells Rachel The guys agree that Joey should tell Rachel about his feelings for her over dinner, regardless of the potential consequences. (S8, E16) 
18:00Friends The One With The Tea Leaves After studying tea leaves, Phoebe believes she will encounter the man of her dreams - and she soon meets a very handsome guy, Parker (Alec Baldwin). (S8, E17) 
18:30Friends The One In Massapequa Monica writes a speech for her parents' 35th wedding anniversary. Phoebe dates Parker (Alec Baldwin), whose enthusiasm for everything begins to wear on everyone. (S8, E18) 
19:00Friends The One With Joey's Interview Joey prepares for an interview with Soap Opera Digest, although he's afraid of saying something stupid that may jeopardize his career... again. (S8, E19) 
19:35Friends The One With The Baby Shower During her baby shower Rachel has the realization that she is totally unprepared to care for a baby, sparking her mother's offer to move in with Ross and her. (S8, E20) 
20:00Austin Powers In Goldmember Film Upon learning that his father (Michael Caine) has been kidnapped, Austin Powers (Mike Myers) must travel to 1975 and defeat the aptly named villain Goldmember (also Myers). Beyonce co-stars. (2002) 
22:00New: Roast Battle Jimmy Carr, Katherine Ryan, and Jonathon Ross return for the third season of Roast Battle! Prepare for more outrageous roasts from some of the finest comedians from around the UK. 
22:30Russell Howard's Good News Russell Howard takes a cheeky trawl through the news. Tonight features the NHS, Peppa Pig, cage fighting kids, and the connection between gay sex and a bagel. (S10, E01) 
23:00Russell Howard's Good News Russell Howard takes a cheeky trawl through the news. Tonight features product placement in the new James Bond film and a man who punched a bear in the face. (S10, E02) 
23:30Impractical Jokers: Best of s11 The guys volunteer to take ridiculous notes to a focus group, and they try to get a bystander to back up their story to a store manager after falling into a tower of cereal boxes. (S11, E14) 
00:00Impractical Jokers The guys go to Top of the Rock for some awkward interactions, and play a game of "Did They Deserve That?" at a bagel shop. This week's punishment involves minimal clothing and the cold. (S11, E01) 
00:30Roast Battle Hosted by Jimmy Carr, with judges Jonathan Ross and Katherine Ryan. Featuring Tom Houghton vs. Lauren Pattison, and Simon Brodkin vs. Dane Baptiste. (S3, E03) 
01:00New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Join Trevor Noah and his team as they take a satirical sideswipe at the latest in news and current affairs. Emmy Award winning irreverence from Comedy Central. 
01:30South Park Grounded Vindaloop Butters becomes convinced he is in an Oculus Rift virtual reality world thanks to Cartman - but who's really tricking who? Best ask the customer service call centre. (S18. E07) 
02:00South Park C**k Magic The boys become embroiled in the world of competitive 'Magic: The Gathering' fighting, and things get a little too "hardcore"! Randy shows them another world of magic tricks! (S18, E08) 
02:30South Park #REHASH (1): Kyle is unimpressed with young kids watching others do stuff. Meanwhile, "Lorde" (Randy) is booked to play a concert with Nicki Minaj & Iggy Azalea - can he go through with it? (S18, E09) 
03:00South Park #HappyHolograms (2): Still burning over Ike calling him a Grandpa, Kyle teams up with some stars (including Bill Cosby!) to create the most extravagant televised Holiday Spectacular ever! (S18, E10) 
03:25South Park Stunning and Brave South Park's politically incorrect past catches up with it when the new principal at South Park Elementary lays down the law - and Cartman bears the brunt of his wrath! (S19, E01) 
03:50The Cleveland Show California Dreamin' (All the Cleves Are Brown): Cleveland and his family move to California so he can pursue his dream of becoming a baseball scout. (S4, E15) 
04:10The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Bullets over Bel-Air Will and Carlton are at an ATM machine and somebody tries to rob Carlton for his money but Will takes the bullet for him. This event rocks the whole family to the core. (S5, E15) 
04:35The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air A Decent Proposal Still in the hospital after being shot, Will thinks about his future. He decides to ask Lisa to marry him. (S5, E16) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.